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Showing posts from June, 2015

My Mother, My Father, and Me

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In her Daily Cal article "I Now Pronounce You Arranged," Ilaf Esuf writes about her hometown’s tradition of arranged marriages and her certainty that she will marry someone who shares her precise cultural and religious background. Several lines particularly stood out: "I realize that to some, this concept reads like a nail in my coffin, but I disagree. My culture defines me. And though I could combine two different cultures and teach my children two different values, I know how hard that is. Beyond that, I want my husband to awkwardly talk politics with my grandfather in Tamil and to sit in one of our fields eating homemade chicken biryani with his hands—and most importantly, I want to perform Hajj with my husband. I want to share all the things that define me with the person who completes me.”
This line stood out to me, maybe because I wouldn’t exist if either of my parents thought this way. My mother grew up in poverty in 1960s and 70s China. The stories she told me fr…