Saturday, July 14, 2007

(Voledads is the imaginary country I created in school.)

[Set opens in VWTV (Voledads World Television) Studio. Bryant Ethers, the imperious anchor of "Nightly Newsflash" and co-host on "Meet the Media", walks in.]

Shuffles papers.

ETHERS: Welcome to VWTV Nightly Newsflash. Last week, we brought in some IRS, or Interal Reserach System, personnel, to speak with them about the developing story with computer crashes at Aeronautic and Space International Administration. The largest operating organization in space travel, ASIA was devastated by the computer crashes. Today we're speaking with Hester Crola, a representative and spokeswoman for the company that sells the operating system ASIA computers were working with, Ceiling XP. Welcome, Hester.

CROLA: Thank you, Bryant. We've done thorough tests of our operating system, Ceiling XP, which packages fine-tuned surveillance systems, high-speed operations, and automatic save programs embedded in all areas. We've also brought in some skilled technicians from such renowned companies like Gazillion.

ETHERS: For those of you who don't surf the internet on a regular basis, Gazillion is a highly popular search engine also sporting Gazillion Videos, Frazillion (a shopping area), and GBlogger. Anyways, back to the story. When will the investigations end?

CROLA: We don't want to set timetables, but we want a clear path for clear operations and we wish best of luck to ASIA.

ETHERS: Thanks, Hester. Hester Crola, representative and spokeswoman for Megasoft, creator of Ceiling XP.

CROLA: Thanks, Braynt. Good night.

ETHERS: An air of mystery still hangs over the ASIA computer breakdowns, and ASIA administrators are citing possible physical flaws in computers, the physical bodies of which are mainly manufactured by Natel. In a written statement, Natel "assures ASIA all computers are inspected and made for top standards," and "denies purposeful involvement in breakdowns." For more info on the ASIA breakdowns, go to our site at For our next story--how would you feel if a stranger replied to a Philippalist advert for a violin, saying that he'd like the violin-and he'll pay nine hundred grand? That--when we come back.

[Viole soap commercial.]

[Voledads provincial statement warning parents about new booster seat laws.]

[Tod-toys commercial.]

[Middle-school math commerical.]

[Rac sports shirts commercial.]

Theme music for Nightly Newflash comes back on.

Ethers shuffles papers.

ETHERS: Phillippalist, an increasingly popular website sporting lists of attic amusements, the occasional piece of furniture, the bed coverlet, vintage wine, even violins. From varieties like confectioner's darling "Honey-string Caramel" to the more serious Tiolan "Treiss" brand, one violin is special. We're talking with correspondent Ezekiel Baker to get the story on one big-bucks violin.

BAKER: It was a plain Elvernian day--the six-thirty shipments, the seven 'o clock, the newspapers delivered at ten o' clock sharp. Lisa Meyers, a single mother, is living out another day in the Elvernian apartment complex "Otto's Ivy." A working-class neighborhood, Otto's Ivy is plain; the concrete building is whitewashed. Balconies are luxurious, and the only adornment in the parking way is a fastidiously polished hybrid. Even this, Meyers says, doesn't belong to one the "apartners." It's the developer's car. Other than some pieces of furniture from dumps, garage sales, and bumped shipments, Room Number 55, Meyers' apartment number, is empty. Meyers works from her apartment; she can't afford daycare for her two kids. Meyers sells random items on Phillipalist, translates for international translating company Linguistics Line, does nights working at next-door factory Wells', and keeps track of money. One day while looking through a box left in the kitchen, Meyers finds an old violin. "I mean, I didn't think it was anything special," Meyers reflects. "It was a kind of dusty brown color, and there was no shoulder rest. It said "Citae" on the back." As it turns out, "Citae" is a now out-of-production violin, first produced in the seventeen hundreds. Meyers' violin was extremely rare--produced in the nineteen twenties, historian Robert Michel says it's amazing it stayed in such a good condition. Citae violins are renowned for extreme sound quality, and put up at prices up to a million dollars by collectors. Meyers is not a musician, so she put the violin up for sale on Phillippalist. "I didn't really think it would really bring in much money. I thought it was a fairly nice violin, and I polished it." The next day Meyers recieved a call from instruments collector Andre Vermont. "He said he'd pay nine hundred grand for it. I was amazed." Meyers immediately closed the deal. The nine hundred grand, put together with other savings, has allowed her to move out of the working-class neighborhood. "I'm really grateful to the violin," she says.
ETHERS: Thank you, Ezekiel. That's tonight's Nightly Newsflash. Thanks for listening. I'm Bryant Ethers. See you next week.

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