Story Written with Lincoln Elementary Third Graders

September 17, 2009

It was a cool but sunny September day in Indianapolis when Dan Kuso decided to take his daughter, Abigail, and their pet, Superdog, for a walk.
Superdog was no average dog. For one thing, he was a lot smaller than an average dog. Many people thought that Dan Kuso was walking a cat on a leash. He had to explain that Superdog was a special breed of dog.
Superdog also had the incredible ability to talk. However, he didn’t do it much in public, in case he scared people.
Abigail also had some special powers. She was able to turn invisible, but only for five minutes at most. You see, Abigail really liked to wear bright colors, and it’s harder to stay invisible that way.
Dan Kuso knew that he had an incredible daughter and an incredible dog, but he never imagined that one would be kidnapped.
Which is exactly what happened.
Eight minutes into the walk, Dan let Superdog off his leash to run around the park. It had been fifteen minutes when he started getting worried.
“I wonder where he got off to,” he said anxiously to Abigail. “He usually comes back within ten minutes at most.”
“Hmmm, this sounds fishy,” Abigail said. “Maybe he’s investigating something. Superdog! Superdog!” she shouted, ignoring the funny looks some people gave her. There was no response.
They walked all around until they came to Superdog’s favorite resting rock, a huge boulder which the locals called “The Dog,” because it looked kind of like a dog. He was nowhere to be seen. But there was a note on the rock, stuck with gum, that read,

“I HAVE SUPERDOG.
PAY ME 500 DOLLARS OR ELSE.
MAIL IT TO PO BOX 1234.
-MR. WEEVIL EVIL.”

“500 dollars!” Abigail exclaimed. “This is crazy. Are you sure that this…Mr. Evil Weevil person has Superdog?”
“Why else the note?” Dan Kuso asked grimly.
“We’ve got to find out where Superdog and this evil Mr. Evil are hiding,” Abigail said determinedly, clenching her fist. “Or else.”

First Dan and Abigail went to the post office, where they asked about PO Box 1234. They confirmed that the owner’s name was Mr. Weevil Evil, and they were able to get a phone number. It was 123-456-7890. Dan immediately called it on his cell phone.
“Hello,” someone hissed in a very unfriendly tone at the other line. “Whaddya want?”
“I want Superdog back,” Dan said firmly.
“Sure thing,” Mr. Weevil Evil said. “With five hundred bucks in the PO Box.”
“Not happening,” Dan said.
“Mwahahahahahaha!” Mr. Weevil Evil cackled, and then the phone line went dead.

After searching Mr. Weevil Evil’s phone number and name in People Finder on his computer, Dan Kuso was able to find that he had dropped out of Lincoln Elementary in second grade and had inherited a fortune from his great-great-grandparents.
“Why he’d need ransom money I don’t know,” Dan said to his daughter. “If he has this great fortune…?”
“Maybe he wasted it all,” Abigail shrugged. “Anyway, does it give us an address?”
“No, but if we go to this Lincoln Elementary, we may be able to ask the principal.”

So they hopped into the car and headed to Lincoln Elementary to see the principal. Mrs. Wilkowski saw them in her office, looking a bit puzzled.
“You said that you wanted to find a lost dog?” she said quizzically. “I don’t think you should start here; the pound might be a better option.”
“Um--er, this is a special dog,” Dan said, having no other better way to explain it. “We know where he is, but it’s an issue of accessibility.” This was the nicest way he could put “one of your former students stole our dog.” As soon as he brought up Mr. Weevil Evil’s name, Mrs. Wilkowski nodded sadly.
“He was always making trouble, tripping people on the playground, screaming so loudly during class that nobody could hear a thing, and, when he was sick, he tried to sneeze all over the other children.”
“Wow,” Abigail said. “That’s pretty intense.”
“Yes, and we tried our best to keep him here; we sent him to counseling, we tried to hold conferences with his parents, but no luck. He insisted on dropping out--which sounds ridiculous, in second grade.”
“Yes. And now he has our dog,” Dan Kuso said. “Is there any chance that you might have an address where we could reach him in your paperwork?”
“It’s possible…I would have to ask the secretary.”

Dan and Abigail left Lincoln with an address--1234 Numbers Street. When they drove here, they saw what looked like an abandoned, decrepit shack. The wood was rotting, and they could see mice scattering around inside.
“It looks like this is where he used to live,” Abigail said. “We might as well do some investigating, though.”
They peeked inside, holding their noses, because it smelled like petrified bat poop, and, luckily for them, saw a little note.
“Forwarding Address/New Address--4321 Alphabet Street.”
They immediately jumped in the car and arrived at a humongous mansion.
“We can’t just get up and go to the front door! What if he’s armed and dangerous?” Abigail asked. “I’ll go invisible, sneak around the back, and find Superdog!”
Which is exactly what she did.
Little did Mr. Weevil Evil know that Dan Kuso had a daughter who could go invisible. He only knew about the dog. So he was utterly unprepared--he was shaving, in fact--when Abigail Kuso burst in, invisible, grabbed Superdog, and, just for fun, threw a vase across the room, which made Mr. Weevil Evil jump eighteen feet into the air (he had superpowers too) and fall with a sickening crunch onto the floor, shouting, “My dog!”

And happily ever after.

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